you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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