im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
home. puking in laundry basket.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
