How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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