found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
