He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
