you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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