OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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