i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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