i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
