well I can't set my house on fire every night
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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