I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
