Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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