you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
