dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
