dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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