yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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