He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
