weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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