Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm both gender and math confused
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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