If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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