I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dignity is for republicans.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Randomize
