My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
