We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
