I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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