Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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