We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
