My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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