hell yes lets make some ravioli
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
