So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
