this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize