Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
