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4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
