It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
