Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Never joke about your clitoris.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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