I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
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It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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