I'm so fucking centered right now
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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