It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
