I think my fart just growled at me.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
