Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
only you would photoshop your dick
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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