i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
