Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
