does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
