You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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