Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
