too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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