either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
