That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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