If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
