you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize