remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
