Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
