we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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