You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
