u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
