god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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