You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
