if you like me you must not know who I am
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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