Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I pour the whiskey from now on
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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