she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
