my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
