there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
