yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
