oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
