sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
